A friend posted this, and I have to share it. We all know how easy it is to say the wrong thing when someone’s ill or in a crisis. Some otherwise caring people avoid connecting with loved ones during those times simply because they don’t know what to do or say. This article is a simple “how to” for providing support to those in need without making things worse. A Must-Read! http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/07/opinion/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407
Tag Archives: Self Care for Parents
Postpartum Depression
Risk Factors, Symptoms, and What To Do
The Baby Blues has become as much an accepted part of being a new mother as engorged breasts and sleep deprivation. But what if the Blues don’t go away? For 10-20% of new mothers, Postpartum Depression (PPD) is an unwanted and difficult part of the first year of motherhood. The causes of PPD are many, and can include hormonal and lifestyle changes, a lack of social support, sleep deprivation, a high-risk pregnancy, a traumatic birth or difficult recovery, or breastfeeding problems. You are also at a higher risk of PPD if you have suffered previously from depression, or have recent losses or trauma in your life. Symptoms of PPD and related disorders can include:
- Feeling sad, depressed, numb, or crying a lot
- Restlessness or irritability
- Unusually strong feelings of anger or resentment
- Lack of energy
- Having headaches, chest pains, heart palpitations, numbness, tingling, dizziness or nausea, hyperventilation or other unexplained physical symptoms
- Difficulty sleeping or excessive tiredness
- Loss of appetite or conversely, overeating and weight gain
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering, and making decisions, or confusion
- Excessive worry about the baby or lack of interest in the baby
- Feelings of guilt and worthlessness
- Lack of interest or pleasure in activities
- Obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviors
- Fear of hurting the baby or yourself
Many mothers experience only a few of these symptoms, but if you feel like something is wrong and you’re not quite yourself, that is an important signal. If these symptoms persist for two weeks or more, the mother should promptly get support by talking to her doctor or a mental health professional. PPD is a highly treatable condition, with therapy, medication, or a combination of the two.
If you need medication and you are told that you must give up breastfeeding, make sure you get the advice of a psychiatrist who is knowledgeable about medications for breastfeeding mothers. There are a few antidepressants which are routinely prescribed for breastfeeding mothers with untraceable amounts detectable in the baby’s bloodstream. Moreover, breastfeeding can be beneficial both for the depressed mother, the long-term health of her baby, and bonding, which is even more challenging when a mother is depressed.
Depression not only affects you: it affects your relationships with your partner and your baby. Untreated, depression can lead to bonding difficulties and delayed development or failure to thrive. Getting the help you need to recover quickly is the best thing you can do for your baby and yourself.
Most importantly, tell your support people (your family, friends, partner) how you are feeling. The burden of trying to seem happy and “keeping it all together” can make the depression worse. You need to lean on the people who care about you, get as much help as you need until you’re back to feeling like yourself, and don’t beat yourself up for having PPD. It is NOT YOUR FAULT.
Why Parents Should Nurture the Child Within, Too
Young woman on swing
An article I published on the GoodTherapy.org blog, about how when we become parents, some of us may find that old wounds from childhood resurface. This is an opportunity to have a healing inner dialogue. View the article by clicking here.
The Mindful Parent: Learning How to Let Go
“There are so many things we benefit from learning to let go of as parents—comparing our children to others, expecting them to be the people we imagined they would be, attempting to be a perfect housekeeper/caregiver/playmate/chef/lover (insert unrealistic expectation here), and, on some days, even expecting to take a shower!” Read More…
Can You Recover from Depression Without Medication?
An article I wrote for the GoodTherapy.org blog. The important take-away: depression is a serious illness. Mild to moderate depression often can be treated through psychotherapy and improved relationships and self-care. But if you need medication to recover, it’s still important to get better however you need to.
http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/can-depression-be-cured-without-medication-1117144
People-Pleasing Moms: At Risk
One of the common themes I come across when working with mothers experiencing depression and anxiety is perfectionism and people-pleasing. Moms get worn out when they are trying to make everyone happy all the time.
There are often good reasons for a tendency to be over-responsible for the feelings of others. Many of us come from families where there was an unspoken expectation that a child must be “good,” because one or both parents were unable to tolerate the challenge of even normal childhood misbehavior. Or sometimes, children develop an unconscious habit of caretaking for others as a way to get their own needs met.
Take a test to see if you have Prenatal or Postpartum Depression