Tag Archives: emotional awareness and expression therapy

Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys

On resentment that fuels chronic pain and symptoms, and the embodied process of unlearning the habit of anticipating the needs of others

I didn’t grow up in an abusive family. Neither of my parents were addicts or had a personality disorder. No one went to prison. I think a lot of people assume that if they had a “good enough” childhood, they don’t carry significant wounds, or cannot call any of their childhood experiences trauma.

But when I went to therapy during college, after years of living with mild depression and low self-esteem, I realized that I had internalized a bunch of really burdensome beliefs from the childhood I did have.

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A Master’s in Economics and a PhD in People-Pleasing

On hiding who you are, chronic pain and symptoms, and what it takes to heal both

Today, my middle child turns 27. Their birth was a watershed time in my life. Before, I thought I was a relatively happily married mom, a government analyst who worked in San Francisco and lived in the suburbs, with a predictable path set forth for me.

Seventeen months after that birth, I was still recovering after a severe episode of postpartum anxiety, depression, and chronic dizziness and nausea. I was starting a business. I was very much aware that my marriage might not last. And I felt alive in a new way. More than ever before, I was excited about my future and focused on what I wanted for myself, not just what others expected of me.

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When My Body Expressed What I Couldn’t Say

How stress manifested as severe physical symptoms

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